Thine will be done

Usually I am a really positive person. I can always see the silver lining in a bad situation or focus on the rainbow and butterflies instead of the storm. But lately…..

I’ve been struggling.

God has blessed me with things that I have been praying! We are in a newer, bigger apartment and recently we found out that I’m pregnant! 😳😊 But if I am really honest, this has not been the experience I was expecting.

I get hungry faster than I am able to prepare meals which causes me to get cranky. My mouth tastes weird and so, many things no longer taste good to me. I have pee at least twice during the night and several times during the day. Not to mention the list of things that is recommended that you do not eat/drink! It causes me so much anxiety and even resentment (shame) because I keep trying to do everything right.

Perfection. It seems to have reared its ugly head again. Did it even leave?! 🤔😞 excuse me a minute while I face the hard truth.

Where have I placed God in the midst of all of this?! I clearly have lost sight of what He has been trying to teach me through this experience:

Surrender. Obedience. Humility. Trust.

My perspective of this whole situation clearly needs to change!

Recently, I started reading the book of Luke and the story of Jesus’ birth really resonated with me. An angel appeared to Mary and told her that she would be with child, and Mary’s response is mindblowing in my opinion.

And Mary said, “Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word.” And the angel departed from her.
Luke 1:38 ESV

How many times do we truly mean it when we say “Lord, Your will be done” ? I will say this – after walking through this experience, I have gained a whole new respect for the level of submission, humility and surrender Mary exemplified with her statement. It reminds me that even in THIS season that I am walking through, my answer is to be one of surrender to God. “Lord it’s hard right now, but I trust You to bring me through it”. Because ultimately, He knows what He is doing. I pray this encourages some of you as well to keep holding on and even muster up the courage to say:

THINE WILL BE DONE

Bloom with grace

Bloom with grace

There is a way out – Jesus

There is a way out – Jesus

Follow instructions

Yesterday I decided to make the time to wash my hair.

For anyone who has natural curly hair, they know that washing our hair takes work! We usually have to prepare our minds to do it because of how long it takes. Sigh. After making that decision, I also figured I might as well deep condition it as well. My hair really was in need of some TLC! So I pulled out the packet of Cantu Bentonite Clay mask and got started.

I squeezed the product out and plopped it into the top of my hair, trying to work it to the ends but the mask just kept sitting there instead of seeping into my strands. “What am I doing wrong?” I wondered. And for the first time ever I thought “Maybe I should read the instructions?”

It read –

‘Start from ends and work up to roots’

That’s why it wasn’t working!! Sheesh! Lol I followed the instructions and you guys……my hair looks so luscious and healthy right now 😁

My curls!

While continuing the task of washing my hair however, I began to think about Moses and the reason why he was not allowed to enter the Promised Land : He didn’t follow instructions.

Moses lost out on a blessing despite serving God faithfully for years…..all because he didn’t follow God’s instructions. Which makes me wonder – what about us?!! Am I currently in the will of God for my life? Am I following His divine instructions?

Are you?

Following God’s instructions many times is crucial in us getting the result that we are hoping for. 🙌❤

The light….

We are a light, shining in the midst of the darkness…..

In my last post I wrote about an experience I had in which my entire country had a blackout for several hours. That encounter really put darkness into perspective for me because it made me realize the importance of appreciating the dark seasons of our lives as well as the light. Check it out here.

Well, what I didn’t share was that during the night instead of complaining about the heat (no fan or a/c y’all!!) and sulking our way to bed, my husband and I sang songs of worship to God.

Yup! My husband pulled out his keyboard (which can run on batteries) and played some songs that he had been practicing for weeks now. And we had a powerful time of worship…..just us, under candlelight in our bedroom. It was amazing.

While we sang, I couldn’t help but think that this could have been how Paul and Silas felt while they were locked up in that jail cell. Surrounded by darkness and maybe the faint glimmer of a candlelight somewhere afar off. But the darkness of the situation and the prison cell could not hold back their praise! They worshipped God!!!!

I imagine it as if they sang to the top of their lungs with joy overflowing in their hearts the more the words poured out of them. They worshipped God in the darkness.

Then, the chains broke off them, and the prison doors swung open! God showed up in the midst of their trial…..because they chose to change their perspective about their situation. They became beacons of light in the midst of a jail cell filled with darkness and the jailer along with his family received salvation because of it!

SHINE YOUR LIGHT! Shine it bright for all to see. Shine it in the midst of the darkness of this world.

The darkness

There is something about darkness that triggers fear in many of us. Dont deny it! It’s true.

Just thinking about being in a dark room or a dark cave or walking through a forest at night with no flashlight to help you see where you’re going……….it’s the stuff that horrors are made of!

Recently my country experienced a nationwide blackout for several hours. I had been working from home that day and suddenly everything shut off! No internet, no electricity, barely any contact via phone calls. It was crazy. I couldn’t work for the rest of the day (no complaints there lol) so my husband and I decided to play a game of Monopoly to pass the time.

The power outage had occurred at 1 pm but by late evening it became apparent that electricity was not coming back anytime soon. Which meant….

Night was coming and we would have no lights……..nationwide.

Utter darkness. Only the moonlight to help us see the outlines of the road and other houses surrounding us. Not that we were planning to go outside! We lit candles to help us see around the apartment as the darkness fell, and even had to go to sleep without any power returning.

What an experience. Could you imagine being without electricity for such a length of time? The next day, I awoke to my fan blowing much needed breeze on me and I knew that thankfully everything was back to normal. But during the day I began to ponder on ‘darkness’ and its connection to the ‘dark seasons’ that we all go through in life. Those moments when the road ahead seems to be unclear and doubt and fear is rampant within our hearts. Those moments when pain and grief seems to have enveloped our souls and we can’t even imagine life where the sun shines and we can smile again.

Those seasons make our heart grateful for the day when the clouds part and the light streams down clearing away the dark thoughts of our minds and making the path ahead of us clear again. The dark seasons help us appreciate the LIGHT even more. I for one know what it is like to walk in the murky, dark waters of sadness and depression. And it makes my heart glad and full of rejoicing to look back on where I was compared to where I am now.

Just like that ‘Day of Darkness’ that my country experienced. It made us appreciate the things that we take for granted.

Today just take a deep breath in and breathe out and face the day knowing that God is definitely still on His throne and He is STILL in control. And appreciate the LIGHT that He continues to shine on you as you continue on your journey. ❤